DEALING WITH TROLLS

▶▶▶ Today I was reading a blog post about dealing with online trolls. The article made me think of my first experience with online bullies, which is what they really are.

Our first home was a condo and I foolishly listened to our realtor and volunteered to be on the board Mistake no 1. Then in one of the home owners meeting someone suggested a yahoo forum to connect all the homeowners, sounded like a good idea at the time, but that was Mistake no 2.

This forum gave EVERYONE access to my office with every random brain fart that they had. I would come home to an inbox of hate, complain, hate and more complaining - people would blame me for things that I nothing to do with like their noisy neighbour. The other strange thing is that they would be the first one to smile and say hi to me in the parking lots after bad talking me online!! I thought if I ignored their stupidity they would stop but it didn't work that way, it kept getting worse. So one day I had enough and I pressed the reply all button instead of the delete. I told them ( the three people) that their attitude wasn't acceptable after that I deleted my email address. There's only so much a person can take and the more you take is the more they lay it on. I find that a lot of people forget that there is a real person on the other end of an email. 

With trolls we usually don't know who the haters are but let me tell you that people who nothing always have the most to say. It's easier to criticize someone who's trying to make a difference because we don't know how it is to do until we try it ourselves. 

For the longest while I wanted to start a blog but that experience left such a nasty taste in my mouth I was a bit nervous to do it. I know that when you put yourself out there, you open up yourself for criticism, now I've had over 6 years of art school so I'm use to criticism. What I can not handle is hate because at the core of it criticism is to make you better but hate is jealousy and just there to tear you down.

The hidden lesson from that forum was being able to know who the haters were as strange as that sounds. What I came to realize was that the haters (three people) were people no one else in the community liked. At the end of the day people who hate are people on other for no reason are in pain and don't know how to deal with their emotions. They act out the only way they know how and thats by transferring their emotion. So if you know that and keep that in mind it lets you see them coming. ◀◀◀

T